Relationships are like a dance. Each person has a choreography script of steps in their head. This choreography script has been built over time, based on other dances we held a part in. The script is dynamic, but we may think its static.
Shuffle – ball- change left and you expect your partner to respond. Many times he/she does and that’s a positive reinforcement for your dance move. But when they don’t dance in the direction we expect, things can go horribly wrong. We can miss our connections, trip over each other, step on each others toes. God forbid its in the middle of a high twirl and toss, we could miss the catch completely! Totally unsatisfying and non-productive.
Many times we expect that others will not only know our script, but will respond to it in a certain way. Our experience when they don’t can leave us feeling like we have two left feet.
Other times we wonder why, when we are sashaying right, they are responding with a dosy doe? We don’t think of changing our own steps to meet theirs, or to encourage their rewriting of their choreography script.
A relationship, like dancing, is a partnership and it relies on not only good communication, but an open mind to changing our own steps to meet our partners. Be free with it, not rigid, dynamic, not static and you will be surprised by your own facile growth and your partners responsive nature.